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Week 1, Day 3

cruise: minnie dress
Food Log: Week 1, Day 2Collapse )

Yesterday wasn't bad points-wise, but I'm definitely seeing a pattern. I keep snacking on bread and the snacks at work - particularly the Fiber One brownies. Yes, they're only 2 PP apiece, but two at a time is 5 PP. Still not as bad as your average candy bar, but still not exactly what I want to be doing to my body. I've had THREE of them today, so something's gotta give. My goal next week is to have no more than one office-kitchen snack each day. I'm thankful they provide snacks (and healthy ones, at that), but I need to get it under control.

The bread is usually a middle-of-the-night snack. I think my body is used to being carbed up before bed and since I've cut out most grains with dinner, my body is angry. I'm going to incorporate a starch for dinner at least for a while to see how that works. I had butternut squash last night and that seemed to work - I didn't wake up with a craving. Granted, I also had the M&Ms, so that could've had something to do with it.

In a nutshell: Old habits die hard.



I still haven't seen this whole movie. Josh made me watch it once and I think I fell asleep. Much of my nerd cred left my body that day.

Anyway, you'll also see I didn't get to the gym. Which is not good, but...I don't know. Something inside me is saying it's OK and that focusing on getting my eating under control is the important part right now. Which doesn't quite work since I have to complete a half marathon in six weeks, so I'm working on it. Tomorrow my goal is to complete a 30-minute circuit workout. Nothing too crazy, but something. Oh, but my FitBit did decide I earned an APP, so that's cool I guess.

This weekend I have a couple challenges. The first is dinner out at Toojay's with Josh and my mom tonight. I already planned my meal: baked tilapia and steamed veggies. Regretting the brownies now though. On days when I know I'm eating out, I need to be a little stricter than usual.

Tomorrow night is my friend Katlyn's birthday party. Josh and I are going to watch the Disney half marathon in the morning (to cheer on our friends Krista and Liz/lizblizz, woo!), then to Publix to do our grocery shopping. So I'm going to make sure I pick up a PP-friendly dessert to have when everyone else is having cake. I'll have dinner before, then pack some snacks just in case. I know there will be a veggie tray but ehhh. Also, no alcohol. I'm driving. And I don't need it.

Sunday I'm going to run/walk 30 minutes if it kills me.

Those are the plans. I'll be working on the hard part - making them my priority/a reality. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Week 1, Day 2

wedding: stair kiss
Quick check-in entry while I'm still on lunch!

Initial Stats.Collapse )

Food Log: Week 1, Day 1Collapse )

I realize my first goal is 17.6 lbs. away, but my current weight is extremely high for me and I'm pretty confident I'm going to drop a large number this first week. Generally I'm going to be trying not to step on my home scale, but this morning I did and I'm already down over a pound from yesterday so I know these first 10-15 lbs. will come off easily without me having to even be too crazy strict as long as I stick to the program and am honest with myself.

I'm confident. These are numbers I have hit before and numbers I was confident at. I know what my body is capable of when I feed it the right things and work out consistently but not obsessively.

I wanted to go to the gym yesterday and didn't. I WILL go tonight and get through 30 minutes on the treadmill. As long as I get that in, I will be happy. Plus, "Friends" is on Netflix now and I have the app on my phone, so I'm totally going to be watching that while I run/walk. I hooked my FitBit up to my WW app, so I'm going to test that out tonight and see if it works. I hope so. At the very least, it will keep me honest about how many APPs I'm earning.

I've started trying to use my Instagram a little more, posting motivational pics and such. If you want to follow me, I'm @jenislosingit.

More tomorrow with today's food log and plans for some weekend challenges!

2015.

me default
I'll be 30 in a couple of months. Wow. I immediately want to say something profound about it, but everything bouncing around in my head is really cliché, like, "That went by fast!" or "I'm not ready!" or "Old people are 30!" But those are just words and to be honest, they aren't really true - in general, and in the sense that they are what I really want to say.

Parts of my late teens and twenties feel like a different lifetime, so I can't say it went by quickly. It didn't. It didn't drag, but it went by in an adequate amount of time. And when I think about it, a lot of things happened during this time in my life:

  • I fulfilled my first huge personal goal of going to college, supporting myself, and securing financial independence.

  • I met a ton of friends whom I still love and keep in contact with, as well as kept in touch with my closest friends from high school.

  • I secured not only a steady, full-time, practical career - I began building a long-term one in something I truly love to do and feel like I could be fulfilled doing forever. A book I edited ended up on the New York Times Best Sellers list. I still can't wrap my head around that, but I can say I'm confident it means I've found my calling.

  • I traveled to multiple places, with the most notable probably being New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, the Caribbean, and two continents that aren't North America - one of which was my dream-of-a-lifetime trip to Australia. That trip was something I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to go through with. And I did it at 26.

  • I proved to myself I can live a healthy lifestyle and maybe even identify as an athlete.

  • I completed a marathon. Me, the girl who was always walking the mile run in middle school while silently praying for it to be over. I am in the tiny percentage of people who have completed an actual marathon, and it is a surreal feeling.

  • I lived with roommates, alone, and with significant others. I really got every type of living experience.

  • I battled anxiety and depression, and learned to overcome and live with them.

  • I figured out what is really important to me in life, and am almost to the point where I know exactly what I want out of it - mostly because I have learned to see the grays.

  • I almost married the wrong person. But somehow, I found the strength to let him go and marry the right person who is amazing not only because he is him, but because he makes me a more well-rounded person and doesn't shy away from the challenges he has to endure to make me see beyond my comfort zone. He is the reason I've grown, and he is the reason I will continue to grow.

I also had a lot of fun in my twenties. I got the opportunity to do so many things I truly love to do and/or that really changed and enriched my life for the better, including but to limited to owning a cat, going to Walt Disney World and Universal Studios a ton, going to lots of concerts, getting lost in albums, getting my heart broken, partying (something teenage me never thought I'd do), SKYDIVING (WHAT!?), learning that I'm actually kind of great at baking, and so much more.

Lately, I've been feeling very, very down on myself. I say "lately," but this has been ongoing for I'd say the better part of the last two years - probably beginning from about six months before I was let go from my job at PowerDMS in April 2013. But somehow, writing down these things I accomplished and learned and experienced in my twenties makes everything seem so much better than I've thought it was for a long time. Looking at this list makes me think of how 17-year-old me would feel reading it, and I'm actually getting teary eyed knowing I made that girl proud. I really, really did. Because even as an almost-30-year-old, I can truly say that if I looked at that list without knowing who wrote it, I'd be like, "Wow. I hope I can accomplish even half those things."

And that 17-year-old girl didn't really think about the fun parts too much because she felt like she didn't have the extra time or energy to even consider them. She was too busy wanting to get out and do her own thing and put her stake in a piece of the world. And I did that, but I did it while somehow also managing to explore sides of myself I didn't even know I had let alone could actually locate and cultivate. I'm grateful I found that balance between responsible Jen and adventurous Jen, because both sides make up the person I am. The person that I am is extremely goal oriented and finds fulfillment in life from reaching those goals. And I love that person. That person managed to check off so many things she wanted to do in her life AND had a good time doing it. She faced struggles and challenges, but she came through them a better person than she was before they happened.

I'm excited for my 30s. Now that I know myself and am happy with the person I have become (I'm still working on it, but generally), I know I can accomplish even more - and maybe even do more of giving that confidence to others. Giving is going to be my personal theme for my 30s. And 2015 is going about building myself up to the person who can do that healthily.

This entry was going to be a "2015 is my year to lose the weight!" entry, but as I started writing, I obviously figured out there's so much more behind the reasons I've gained weight. And I need to work on telling myself it's OK and really meaning it. I deserve better than what I've been doing to my body. And it's time to start putting that into practice.

I'm going back to Weight Watchers meetings tomorrow. And I will be at my goal weight by summer - because I deserve it.
let it go
So I'm down 1.2 lbs. this week. Considering I didn't follow WW except for maybe half the week, I'm happy (well, content) with this. I think the Tower of Terror 10-Miler had something to do with having any kind of loss, the details of which I'll get to in a minute. But I've lost 5.2 lbs. in five weeks. Which is awesome, generally, but I can do a LOT better - especially at this higher weight I'm at now. I'd really love to be as close to my "normal" weight range (130-135) as possible by the wedding. I realize that's asking a lot, as I'd have to lose like 1.5 to 2 lbs. a week to hit it. I know I can do that but the bridal shower, bachelorette party, holidays, etc. are all very real hurdles I will have to consider while at the same time making sure I have a good time. All that on top of the stress of the wedding and this new job and aaccckkkk. I need you guys' encouragement now more than ever, so anything you can offer up would be great.

Anyway, the race was actually amazing. I almost skipped it... :[ I have been having on-and-off stomach pains - likely from stress - and they were REALLY bad the afternoon of the race. But Josh calmed me down a bit and I rested and took it easy, and the pains went away just in time, thankfully.

So glad I went because I had a blast, which I attribute to the nice weather and the fact that I got my favorite medal I've received from a race so far:



It glows in the dark, and the little elevator moves up and down on a spring. Yesssssss. ToT is my favorite WDW attraction, so it's extra cool for me. It's hanging nicely amongst my other medals - way too many of which are runDisney medals, with my marathon medal right in the middle. :o)



I also somehow managed a sub 12:30/mile pace, which is faster than my current 5K or even like, two-mile pace, so whatever. I guess my adrenaline was high and, like I said, the weather was gangsta. Low humidity, a breeze here and there, 71 degrees when we started and like 68 when we finished. It was pretty much a 24-hour nice-weather phase that is now gone but I don't even care. I will take it, universe. Thank you, universe.

Anyway, here are a few more photos of me with my buddy Liz (lizblizz) and Josh before the race, and Liz and me after the race.







Liz did freaking awesome! Killed her time by something like a half hour over last year? She is also down 25+ pounds since the beginning of the year. Look at this:



Gorgeous either way but still very motivational and so awesome. ♥ You rock, Liz. Give me some of your motivation juice.

My goal this week is to STICK TO PLAN - count everything and stick to my workouts! The only thing I will most likely skip is my 5K run on Saturday, because we're going to Halloween Horror Nights the night before and have a full day of fun stuff planned Saturday. But that is known ahead of time and I'm OK with it. I'm doing a longer run Sunday evening, and that is non-negotiable.

Speaking of HHN and fun things, these are my challenges this week. HHN I know like the back of my hand: Pack snacks but make sure to eat beforehand because the D-bags at security will likely tell me I can't bring them into the park. HOWEVER, this year I have a plan to tell them I am gluten intolerant. That's common enough now for me to totally get by, I think - especially because last time they asked me if I had a medical reason and I said NO, DO I HAVE TO!? all pissed off. So this time I'll be ready. And if not, Richter's Burger Co. or whatever that restaurant is has shitty salads and I'll just chug water all night. NO DRINKING.

Saturday we're going to Sweet, our wedding-cake (well, cupcake) shop. *shoots self* It's only to finalize our order, though. There will be cupcakes lurking behind me, but they're behind a glass case of emotion, so it's safe. Or something. We're going to this yearly fall pumpkin patch (!!!!) and carnival after that. There isn't anything super tempting there, though I may get an (iced) light pumpkin-spiced latte from Starbucks to take over. I'm very white and IDGAFFFF.

Josh and I signed up to do the Lake Eola 5K the Saturday before our wedding. I considered doing the OUC Half Marathon that same day (it's part of the same series), but with my luck I'll injure myself, so I decided to play it safe. I have the Princess Half in February to look forward to, but yeah, watch me injure myself at this 5K anyway. Knock on wood.

Nothing else to say, really. I'll be blabbering about shower-food fears soon enough, so get ready for that excitement.

On my way!

olaf
So I've been going back to Weight Watchers meetings for three weeks now. I'm down 4 lbs., which is nothing to sneeze at, but I know I can do better. Currently, I'm at 148.4 and I know 120 isn't going to happen by the wedding. It's 11 weeks away and um, yeah. So my new goal is 130. That is still something I will have to hustle for, BUT I'm almost positive it'll get me into my dress and I know I'll look and feel great. Then after the honeymoon I can drop the last bit. Honestly, at 120 I feel like the dress might be too big on me, so maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Hooray justification.

I'm three weeks into this new job and it's going pretty well. I had orientation last week and I have in-depth product training next week, so right now I'm twiddling my thumbs a little...but that's not such a terrible thing, especially considering we have a quarterly software release tomorrow. The next one is Dec. 26, errrrrr.

Anyway, work talk is boring. Let's talk about health things.

I ran/walked a 15K Saturday, woohoo! It rained the whole time which surprisingly made the experience a lot more pleasant than it probably would've been otherwise. It wasn't heavy rain but more than a drizzle, and constant. It cooled things down immensely, and I finished without wanting to die, which is a big plus. I did not expect to even finish let alone finish in one piece, so I can't complain. I ran with a girl from my old Galloway group, Bree. Super sweet. I'm running six miles with the group early Saturday morning and I'm really excited to see everyone again.

THENNNN the Tower of Terror 10-Miler is next weekend, ack! I'm more excited than nervous because I've never run this one and I love nighttime races. I say "races," but the only other nighttime race I've done is the Wine & Dine Half, which has been my favorite Disney race so far - maybe even my favorite race in general. Lots of fun. I'm worried about the heat and humidity though...my friend Liz (lizblizz) did it last year and is doing it this year too, and she said last year it was REALLY hot and humid, bleh. The Wine & Dine is the first weekend in November, so it is usually pretty mild by then. Weather.com is saying 87 degrees is the high for Oct. 4 so I hope that goes down and the humidity stays at bay. Bleh.

Speaking of Disney, we're going to the Epcot International Food and Wine Festival this Sunday. Hanson is playing, yessss, I am going to see all three of their sets. Which will probably be almost the same songs but I don't care. I'm also packing a salad for lunch and a sandwich for dinner plus some snacks, but I pre-tracked some of my favorite dishes:

- CANADA: Seared Rainbow Trout with Bacon, Frisee, and Maple Minus 8 Vinaigrette (6 PP)
- BELGIUM: Belgian Waffle w/Warm Chocolate Ganache (8 PP)
- FRANCE: Tartlette Aux Escargots (9 PP)
- IRELAND: Lobster and Seafood Fisherman's Pie (6 PP)

TOTAL: 29 PP

I also really want the baklava but it's 10 PP and not worth it. I will bring a sweet treat with me so I'm not tempted. Anyway, I tried to piece together the ingredients and estimate as best I could, so we'll see. Between the gym yesterday, my run tonight, my 6-mile run Saturday, and walking all day at the parks Sunday, I should still have all 49 of of WAPP at the end of the day Sunday. That is my goal, and to hit it super hard Monday and Tuesday to get an amazing loss Wednesday.

I'm really proud of myself. I was going to go into Sunday with just my lame sandwich and snacks but I KNOW I would've felt deprived. And honestly, maybe I shouldn't eat anything there, but I think I can and still lose a really good amount this week. So why not? The catch is just that I have to be really on the ball the rest of the week.



My Halloween costume came in! It's this...



It actually fits me right now but it's snug. So in a month I expect it to look amazing. :o) Mels and I are going to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party on either Oct. 24 or 26. I'M EXCITED, I've never been. So I'll wear it then and also to work and any parties we go to. With pantyhose, obviously. The slit isn't too crazy on, but...eh. The children. My wig came in too and it looks like it'll work nicely. I almost bought an Olaf-shaped candy bucket to bring to Disney but decided against it because I the last thing I need is candy-collecting container. We will steer clear of the trick-or-treat areas, thank you.

I bought this dress today because it was on sale and I've had my eye on it for a while:



I got it in the Medium and am planning to wear it for my bachelorette party in Vegas the weekend of Nov. 22. I can't wait.

16 Weeks.

me
16 weeks. That is how long I have until I'm walking down the aisle to marry my best friend in the whole world. I'll be doing it in a size 6 wedding dress I've already purchased - one with a 10-inch-long zipper that I still have about four to five inches to go on until it zips up all the way.

Needless to say, I have some work to do - especially since, if you want to get technical, it's more like 15 and a half weeks. And in those 15 and a half weeks, there are some pretty serious challenges, including but not limited to:

- holidays (Halloween and Thanksgiving, namely, and the events surrounded those)
- my bridal shower and bachelorette party (VEGAS!)
- my good friend's wedding
- the Tower of Terror 10-miler, which I am VERY behind in training for

This is obviously not a comprehensive list, but you get the idea. I am currently hovering around my highest weight ever, which is not a great thing. But you know what? I'm going to give it everything I have, and wherever that gets me is where I'll be on the day I get married. My ultimate goal is still in the 120 lbs/size 4 range, but that might come later if my body says so.

What I know now is that I want to be like this guy:
http://beforeandafterweightloss.tumblr.com/post/78771803698/how-to-lose-a-lot-of-weight

Granted, I don't have 300+ pounds to lose, but issues with food are issues with food. If that amazing man can work up the inner strength to get up every morning and jog in place, then so can I. There is absolutely NOTHING holding me back except myself. No one is forcing me to eat garbage, or sleep in instead of run. No one is requiring me to complain about how hot it is outside, or take the elevator instead of the stairs. My brain is the culprit, and it's time to reprogram that bitch.

I'm starting a new job Tuesday. I'm the editor of a book on the New York Times Best Seller list. I am marrying the most awesome man ever. And I deserve the body I want.

So it's time to get it back.

Week 2, Day 4

me default
I couldn't think of a witty title, so there it is.

Weigh-In Stats: Week 1Collapse )

Aaaaand the damage.

Food Log: Week 1, Day 7Collapse )

Food Log: Week 2, Day 1Collapse )

Food Log: Week 2, Day 2Collapse )

Food Log: Week 2, Day 3Collapse )

First the good:
1. I'm not nearly as over on my WAPP as I was last week. So that's a win.
2. My nighttime snacking has gotten a LOT better.
3. I have been very good about both counting/measuring what I eat and getting my workouts in.
4. I somehow lost weight (albeit a little, but still, SOMETHING).
5. I am skipping a post-work function where there will be lots of beer and food to go to the gym.

Now the bad:
1. I had a peanut-butter binge at work a little bit ago.
2. I'm still going over my WAPP. :-/

Hm. Honestly that's really it. I'm not too upset with how I've been doing in general. I mean, I feel kind of down, but then I realize I had treats yesterday and still managed to keep myself in check. That's a win. Today hasn't been great so far, but I know that is going to happen from time to time and I just need to accept that and move forward. Same with Saturday - it was shitty, but we had a party and I counted all that shiz. Not ideal, but better than saying F it.

I didn't have a great day yesterday in general, both work wise and personally, so I feel like it was a big NSV that I didn't go over my DPP. I still have a ways to go, but I'm confident I'm making some mental (and hopefully physical) progress. I'm on W3 of the C25K program and it's kicking my ass. Still can't believe how out of shape I am, but hopefully soon I'll start to feel like some semblance of an athlete again.

Oh another NSV: Went to Dixie Crossroads in Titusville for lunch with Josh, my mom, and my aunt and uncle. Everyone got fried stuff, but I resisted the fried corn fritters and had a glass of beer, a pound and a half of crab legs without butter (even though they brought butter when I didn't ask for it and it spilled all over the plate...), veggies, and about half a sweet potato. I had a couple bites of things, but I'm really proud I was able to stay in control because some of that fried stuff looked legit. The crab was cooked PERFECTLY, though, so that helped.

I don't have any other real food challenges the rest of the week, so I'm going to strive to stay within my DPP these next three days (because it isn't happening today) and get my workouts in. Friday we're going to Jacksonville for Mother's Day/Josh's mom's birthday, so I will need to come up with a game plan for that soon.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

CAKE COMA, or FML Friday

me default
Food Log: Week 1, Day 6Collapse )

All hell broke lose inside my mouth yesterday. I could not stop eating cake. Cream-cheese icing is my enemy. My pants today are tighter than ever and I hate myself a little.

HOWEVER, I still dragged my ass to the gym with Liz and did about an hour of strength work. Realistically, that was closer to 40 minutes with rest and whatnot, which is why I only counted that much on my tracker.

All the icing and cake are estimates because I really have no idea. My first piece was very small, but then I had gobs of things. I regret it. It was yummy but really not worth it considering my weigh-in tomorrow. I've been very good today though and managed not to snack last night probably because my body has enough sugar reserves in it for two full months, so those are wins I guess. Chugging water today, going to hit the gym for a C25K workout after work, and cross my fingers to at least maintain my weight in the morning.

Weekend challenges: Derby party (which I am doing the shopping/snack layout form so really there is no excuse) and lunch Saturday at Dixie Crossroads, where they have seafood and vegetables. So again: no excuse. INO!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! XOXO

Snack Attack + Bonus Cake

bubbles
Food Log: Week 1, Day 5Collapse )

So I did really well yesterday...except at 2 a.m., when I got up and ate two bowls of cereal. :-/ Not my finest moment, and I didn't measure either so those are estimates. Today isn't going super well...I had a small piece of cake (it had cream-cheese icing, so I was doomed from the start)...but I've tracked my lunch, snacks, and dinner, and I'm going to the gym with Liz after work again. So I'm hoping my body is a little forgiving of last weekend and that I lose SOMETHING Saturday.

I'm currently texting Liz right now, and we're comparing our levels of soreness. Her arms are feeling it but neither of us are sore leg wise. I told her we're doing squats and lunges tonight to fix that, hah. I'm also doing either W2D? of C25K or W3D1. Haven't decided yet. Thinking I might go for the latter. Also want to work more on abs and arms, so tonight might be closer to an hour and a half visit considering I won't be back to the grind until Sunday.

I started making the grocery list for the derby party to make sure I have healthy snacks/drinks on hand. Josh and I are meeting my mom for lunch at Dixie Crossroads in Titusville on Sunday. I already looked at their menu and they have grilled options and veggies, thankfully.

Bobby (my brother) is super into his DDP Yoga program, which is really cool. We don't have a whole lot in common generally, so it's nice to share the health-and-fitness interest. We were texting each other some encouragement last night. He also texted me something that probably seemed pretty whatever to him but to me it really spoke to me: In the middle of our conversation, I texted, "We should text to motivate and encourage each other," and he replied, "We are."

This made me pause and think of how much I do vs. how much I say/plan. Like right now at this very instant I can be making a difference in my life, but WAY more often than not, I choose to plan the change or put it off until tomorrow. That simple two-word reply helped me immensely in that sense.
me default
Food Log: Week 1, Day 3Collapse )

Food Log: Week 1, Day 4Collapse )

Needless to say I've been controlling myself for the most part the past couple days. Now that the chocolate is out of the apartment and the peanut butter has been soaped and disposed of, I've made my environment a little easier to deal with. Sad but true that I need that, but I can either feel weak or see the acknowledgement of the weakness as actually a strength and move forward. I'm going with the latter because the former obviously hasn't been working for me.

So a big NSV Monday: I actually stuck to my dinner and snack plans and didn't use Disney (where I got to visit briefly with George/hekidanjo and his wife Doreen!) as an excuse to stuff my face with things I didn't need. Plus I got walking points, which is a nice bonus.

Last night, Liz (lizblizz) and I went to Planet Fitness. We did 20-30 minutes of weights/machines and then she did 30 minutes of elliptical and I did C25K W2D...4? IDK, I'm doing the second week twice. Tomorrow is my last day, and then Week 3 will start Saturday; my friend Mels is going to come to the gym with me then. And tonight is yoga with my friend Kinsey. It's nice to have fitness buddies, so we can motivate each other.

Josh and I are hosting a small derby party this Saturday at our place, so I need to be prepared for that. Luckily Mels will be there and she doesn't really drink/is trying to be healthier too, so we can help each other stay on track. I'm definitely thankful for that. I honestly don't need to drink.

Not a whole lot else to say, really. I'll be back tomorrow.

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wedding: stair kiss
jenislosingit
Jen is losing it.

About Me

29-year-old Nutella activist, full-time grammar enforcer, and part-time runner. I live for cupcakes, Walt Disney World, terrible puns, the '90s, Harry Potter, spelling bees, pumpkin anything, fluffy animals, beer, and B horror films. I write.

About Me
~Fun~ Facts
Weight-Loss Progress
Workout Schedule
Bucket List

2015 Races:
Run Around the Pines 5K (02/14/2015)
Disney Princess Half Marathon (02/22/2015)
Moss Park Forest Run Distance Dare (15K) (08/01/2015)
Miracle Miles 15K (09/19/2015)
OUC Orlando Half Marathon (12/05/2015)

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Blogroll:
Danielleisms
See Kitzzy Run
Unlocked Gate
Running Off the Reese's
Muffin Top-Less
Gina's Skinny Recipes

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